The one constant in life is if you build something worth having, someone will try to take it.

The one constant in life is if you build something worth having, someone will try to take it.  John Dutton

You blind adherents to this corrupt media figure out yet how they lied about Donald Trump??? Study: hydroxychloroquine can boost COVID-19 survival chances by nearly 200%

A bottle and pills of Hydroxychloroquine sit on a counter at Rock Canyon Pharmacy in Provo, Utah. (Photo by GEORGE FREY / AFP) (Photo by GEORGE FREY/AFP via…

I dream of never being called resilient again in my life.  I'm exhausted by strength.  I want softness. I want support.  I want easy!  I want to be amongst kin and recognize a face.  

Not patted on the back for how well I take a hit or how many!

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WHAT NOT TO SAY!

I have recently encountered some of the most dimwitted so called human beings.  Some just wanted to be mean, like the 'CAT LADY" who wrote about my home burning, "Poetic Justice"...   Judge jury and executioner.  Sadly that person has nothing in their life to be proud of and I get to live rent free in it's empty head.  I've marched with PATRIOTS, I HAVE lived, I've walked my talk and asked NO ONE FOR ANYTHING!  

It's time you all know how to help  someone facing tragedy, or at least how to  STOP making it WORSE!!

 "I know exactly how you feel/ This reminds me of the time my [person] died."

You’re supposed to be there for your friend, so don’t make it all about you. I know that when you’re grappling to help a friend through a loss, your first instinct is to think of similar situations that you’ve experienced, but you can use these memories without making them the focus of the conversation. Instead of launching into a monologue about your own loss, think about how you felt in that experience and what you would have liked to hear at that moment. Use those feelings to guide you.

Furthermore, saying “I know exactly how you feel” can rub people the wrong way because, truth be told, you don’t. You just don’t

 "Can I help you with [practical thing]?" (But be specific!)

One of the hard things about going through a terrible loss or trauma is that, even though your world has seemingly ground to a halt, the rest of life keeps going. Dealing with the day-to-day practicalities of living can simply be overwhelming. So if you’re a friend of someone going through a terrible time, ask if you can help with things like errands, cooking, and babysitting. The key, however, is to be specific when you ask. If you simply say, “Let me know if you need anything,” chances are your friend will never take you up on your offer. Instead, offer specific services. Say, “I’m going to the grocery store, can I bring you anything?” or “I’d love to help you with dog care—could you use a dog walker in the mornings?” or “I love your daughter; is there an afternoon I could babysit?/ is there any carpooling I can help with?” or “I know you’re going to miss class for a few days; I’ll take notes for you.”

Meals are also usually appreciated—try bringing something by that’s freezable, so that your friend can pull it out at a time that is most convenient for him or her.

Religious stuff  = It's all about you, not the victim!  If you know for sure that your suffering friend shares your religious beliefs (say, you’re church buddies), then feel free to reference religion when you talk to him or her. But if you don’t know your friend’s religious stance, avoid making remarks about God or heaven or prayers. Doing so might put your friend in an awkward position, or make his or her pain worse.

5. Be there in the long run When something terrible occurs or someone dies, there’s a lot of flurry when it first happens—funerals, memorials, family visits, friends calling. But then life goes back to normal for everyone except the few who are directly affected. This can be the hardest time—harder, even, than the moment that tragedy struck—because they’re left alone with their thoughts while the rest of the world has moved on. So be sure that your friend keeps feeling supported. In the weeks and months ahead, keep checking in, keep helping, keep giving hugs. Ask her how she’s feeling, and let her know that it’s ok to still be grieving. You’ll be there as long as she needs you.

****NOTE... I didn't even find anyone during the 'short run'....   My family acted as if THEY were the victims and I should only be concerned with THEIR feelings.  We've raised a nation of selfish goons.

“I’m sorry for your loss” or simply “I’m sorry you’re in pain” may lack originality, but they do the job—acknowledging your friend’s pain without minimizing or justifying it.

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Make the dark small

One of the most powerful, though maybe lesser-known, lines in fiction comes from the Dean Koontz book, Brother Odd. Odd Thomas wisely says, “That is the best of all things we can do for one another: Make the dark small.”

It’s compelling in it’s simplicity, and in it’s truth. When someone is hurting, the best we can do is find some way to ease their darkness and pain. So how do we best do this?

When faced with someone going through a difficult time, my instinct is to not say anything at all. No one wants to be the one to say the wrong thing in tough situations, so, the common school of thought says it’s safer to just say nothing at all.

What I’ve learned, and experienced, however, contradicts this way of thinking. When someone is going through a tough time, saying something is eminently preferable to saying nothing at all

A simple, “I am so sorry you are going through this,” can be the absolute best sentiment you can offer. It expresses empathy and genuine kindness, which is often what the sufferer needs most.

Another equally powerful phrase is this: “You are not alone. We will get through this together.” When someone is going through a tough time, it’s common and natural to feel isolated. Letting them know they are not alone is immensely important and often a great comfort.

Be specific

“Let me know what I can do to help” is probably the most common statement given when someone is going through a tough time. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it (since the intent is almost always positive), but I daresay we can do better.

People going through a tragedy are rarely clearheaded. Consumed by a fog of grief, it can be truly difficult to know exactly what is needed. Offering up specific help can be exceedingly valuable. Here are some easy examples of this:

“I’d love to bring dinner by one night this week. Does Tuesday or Thursday work best?” “I’m at the grocery store. What can I bring over to you?”  “I have some free time this morning. Can I come over and sit with you for a bit?”

This also takes the burden off the sufferer to reach out for help. You are reaching out to them with a specific means of support. They merely have to accept your kindness.

Maybe one day we will let go of all the bullshit that separates us from each other.  And maybe one day we will learn how to be free. TTC

Democrat Congresswoman Barbara Jordan: “Credibility in immigration policy can be summed up in one sentence: those who should get in, get in; those who should be kept out, are kept out; and those who should not be here will be required to leave.”